Mr. Moore

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2010-01-01T11:37:00.000-08:00

Wow! Is it 2010 already? Where has the last year gone? Heck, where has the last decade gone? Sometimes it feels like just yesterday I was graduating from high school and now its been ten years! A lot of great things have happened though, since those teenage years and I know I'm better for the experiences.

Here's to a great new year to all my friends out there! Let's make 2010 the best year ever! :-)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2009-12-20T08:02:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope your holiday season is the best ever and you enjoy your time with friends and family. I know I will be!

DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY, RIGHT?

2009-12-16T15:34:00.000-08:00

So I know I never use this thing and for the VERY few of you out there who actually read it every once in a while, I apologize for that fact, but I guess I just need something to do so here's an update on me.

Well.... To be honest, there's really not a whole lot to say.

Still substitute teaching, though I've been picking up more long term sub jobs now, but still can't find a permanent position. Very depressing to be perfectly frank with all you strangers and friends alike out there in cyberspace. I absolutely love teaching! It really is my favorite thing to do and I can totally see myself teaching for many years and multiple generations to come because I love seeing young people learn/understand new concepts and grow and develop as individual human beings. However, nobody can survive as a substitute teacher for very long, and I'm going on my third year. Granted, I was student teaching during part of that time, earning a Masters degree and a teaching credential, and am still enrolled in courses that will earn me a certification that allows me to teach ESL students, but this is a pity post so I'm going to vent/cry anyway. :-)

When is real life going to start for me? When is that perfect position that so many of my colleagues/teacher-friends keep telling me is out there, going to show itself? I don't want to be a totally Negative Ned here, but I guess I'm just getting tired of spinning my wheels and spending more money I don't have on degrees and certifications and licenses and credentials when I'm still unable to do the one thing I truly love: TEACH!

I don't know. I guess I'll keep telling myself (and listening to others who do the same) that there is something for me out there, but right now, that something just seems so.... unreal. Tomorrow I'm going to put on my happy face and remind myself that the holidays are here and I'm going to be pleasant and fun for my family and friends, but for today, I think I'm going to spend the rest of the evening in my bed.

Summer's End

2009-08-28T20:23:00.000-07:00

Well, it's that time of year again, the start of another school year and the end of another summer. This one has definitely been a fun one, especially since my cousin Sarah was down here for most of it. She left yesterday to go back to school in Utah and I miss her already. :( She's the best. But, I had a great time visiting with friends who had come into town, going to theme parks (Disneyland, Knott's Berry Farm), the Del Mar Fair, a trip to Utah, seeing the Broadway Musical Wicked for the first time (awesome, by the way), and a trip to Las Vegas to visit with great friends and my favorite author: Terry Goodkind. Couldn't have asked for a better summer.

On a slightly more depressing note, it looks like I'll probably be substitute teaching again this year because, after applying to many positions, in many states, I didn't even get an interview for a teaching position this year. *sigh* I blame it mostly on the fact that my credential from Arizona took so long to get to me and I'm still in the process of having that credential transferred to California. So....it looks like another year of small paychecks. Oh well. I figure I'll spend my time getting as many certifications and supplements to my credential as I possibly can so I will be totally hireable next year.

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed their summer and are ready for this coming fall! Oh, and I'll try to post on this thing more often, if I can, with much more interesting stuff. :)

P.S. I absolutely love Fall: Football season, great weather, and most of all - holidays!

Finally finished!

2009-06-17T14:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I never use this thing but I figured I'd update the very few of you who might actually read it. I'm finally done with my Master's degree in Education and teaching credential! It is so nice to be done and finally get to have my own classroom. Now, of course, the big question is where I'll end up working. I've been looking in Texas, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Oregon, Washington, and of course, California (although California isn't hiring as much as these other states). Any suggestions on where you think I should go? I'll be applying for teaching postions over the next few weeks and hopefully be flying out for interviews this summer. Here's hoping I end up somewhere I'll be happy! :)

Student Teaching....Finally!

2009-01-10T21:49:00.000-08:00

I know, I know, I never post on this thing but I figured I'd better start again at least for a little while. :) Well, I'm finally starting my student teaching this semester at......Woodland Park Middle School! Yep, it's the same place I taught at last year but this time I'm actually finishing my Masters program and credential by teaching subjects I actually know/like!

I'll be teaching 2 periods of Language Arts, 2 periods of Ancient World History, 1 period of World History, and 1 period of U.S. History. For the very few teachers I know out there who might be reading this, yes, I will have a lot of prep work cut out for me but I'm just too excited to be moving forward with my career to care all that much! :)

Anyway, hope everyone is doing well and enjoyed their holidays. Now onward and upward!

FAMILY REUNION

2008-07-07T17:43:00.000-07:00

So this last weekend was pretty hectic. We went to Utah for a 4th of July family reunion and my cousin Tara's wedding. Needless to say, we were running all over the place! I just thought I'd share some pictures of the weekend's happenings for the very few of you who might care. :) The first few are us hiking the Y mountain in Provo. (That was quite the experience! Ugh!) The others are some of the family reunion pictures we took. These are just snapshots since we actually had a professional photographer there who probably took much better ones. Anyway, enjoy!

Hiking the Y. I always seem to be out of shape when we do this activity.....

View from the top!

My brothers are dorks. What else can I say?

The whole Miles crew! (My mom's side of the family)

The Miles family. (The ones who got it all started!) My mom's the oldest on the far right.

TAGGED AGAIN....

2008-07-07T17:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've been tagged again, this time by Tiffany Andrews. So...here you go!

Attached or single? Single
Best friend? Hmmmmm....Good question. I'd probably have to say right now...Kristen Packard
Cake or pie? Pie
Day of choice? Friday. You have the whole weekend to look forward to!
Favorite color? Green
Gummy bears or worms? Um, both! (Have you seen me lately?) :)
Hometown? San Marcos, California
Ideal vacation? Touring Europe and visiting all the historical places/sites that I teach my students about!
January or July? July because it's summer time and I don't have to work! :)
Marriage date? Still waiting on that one.....
Number of siblings? 6
Oranges or apples? Apples
Phobias? Probably heights and certain spiders.
Quote? "Service is like wetting yourself. Everyone can see what you've done but only you can feel the warmth."
Reasons to smile? My family, my health, my friends, and the gospel!
Season of choice? Fall
Tag three people: Nikki Schroeder, David Bunjes, Ashley Veater
Unknown fact about me: I have a huge crush on Michelle Pfeiffer! :p
Vegetable? Broccoli
Worst habit? Forgetting people's names! You can't do that when you're a teacher!
X-ray or ultrasounds? Um...X-ray I guess....
Your favorite food? Mexican food
Zodiac sign? Pisces

MORE CRUISE PICTURES.....

2008-04-19T10:14:00.001-07:00

Cuz you just didn't get enough the first post, admit it! :)

More Moore's (and Vandevegtes) on the beach.

You can't go to Mexico without a trip to Senor Frogs!

Outside of Senor Frogs.

This was outside a club that ran up along a really pretty beach in Zihuatanejo/Ixtapa. Notice what you have to walk under to get inside. Too funny!

Pictures by one of the pools on the ship.

The finest dining ever! This is on one of the formal nights. I think our dinners together were some of my favorite times on the ship.

The best servers ever! These two were hilarious and a lot of fun.

A formal night photo.

Riley, our room service guy! He was from Jamaica and was extremely funny! These guys really take care of you.

CRUISE PICTURES....

2008-04-19T10:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've actually gotten some requests for pictures of the cruise my family and I went on in March so, here they are! I'm not the most photogenic person in the world but my siblings sure are. :) We had the greatest time! Now let's see if this works..... Here's the family on the first day. The ship hasn't left the harbor yet so we were just wandering around and eating. (Notice Tanner already has a bowl of ice cream)

The family saying "Bye" to sunny San Diego.

My little brother Kyle and I. Can't you just tell how much I love the sun? This is in Acapulco I believe.

My little brothers Tanner and Hunter going out on Sea-doos in Acapulco. They were a blast!

My siblings and our two neighbor girls (Their family went with us) posing again in Acapulco. Beautiful place!

The bannana boat! I can never go on those because I always think of Jaws the Revenge. :)

SEMINARY FUN!

2008-04-14T19:57:00.001-07:00

So I had my seminary students come up with some modern day applications for scripture mastery clues and I thought they were pretty funny! Here they are for your viewing pleasure.

Moses 1:39- Jesus Christ sends out missionaries to teach people so they can have immortality and eternal life.
Moses 7:18- There is a Utah neighborhood that are all self-sufficient and care for each other with tons of service and all thought the same kind of things. They also ate casserols and jello together.
Joshua 1:8- If your seminary teacher tells you to read the scriptures you should pray about them after you read.
Joshua 24:15- Choose what path your going to follow every day before going to school.
Leviticus 19:18- Your neighbor is annoying because their dog keeps pooping on your lawn. Even with their disrespect you should show them love and charity because of the Lord's example.
Genesis 39:9- If some one offers you weed, run away!
Abraham 3:22-23- There were many great people in the pre-existence and Heavenly Father has chosen them as his rulers.
Isaiah 29:13-14- The missionaries are going to honor the Lord by doing his great work. The work and wonder is the gospel and the Book of Mormon coming to pass.
Isaiah 55:8-9- The Lord's thoughts are higher and great, however, our thoughts during the day and night are not nearly so great.
Malachi 4:5-6- Geneology is important to do because it fulfills Elijah's prophecy about eternal families.
Danieal 2:44-45- There is a run away stone wheel that represents the gospel and its running over all old people and customs.
Malachi 3:8-10- Pay your tithing!
Ezekial 37:15-17- The Book of Mormon and the Bible were made for different people and they are joined in the scriptures.
Isaiah 1:18- Although some one may have sinned a lot they can be forgiven of their sins and have their sins become white as snow.
Amos 3:7- When I listen to conference and hear President Monson speak, I know we are recieving revelation that he received from God.
Psalms 24:3-4- One time I was writing on myself and I looked at my hands. I realized I would have to wash my palms before going to heaven.
Job 19:25-26- I have a friend who does not believe that our redeemer lives. But from the truthfulness of this scripture I can bare my testimony to my friend about how I can see God again.
Proverbs 3:5-6- Turn on the light and you know it will turn on. If you don't put the light bulb in, it won't turn on.
Jeremiah 16:16- If you get called on a mission, you should go!
Exodus 20:3-17- Do not have idols for there is no other gods than Heavenly Father.
Isaiah 53:3-5- When I sin I pray for forgiveness and I know I will be able to be forgiven because of the Atonement.
1 Samuel 16:7- We should not elect some one on their size or strength but on their actions; not on their appearance.
Genesis 1:26-27- Today I was talking to a friend and he brought up God and man and asked what I think God looks like so I told him about this scripture.
Exodus 33:11- I was talking to my friend FACE TO FACE and realized that my relationship with God could be much like my relationship with my friend.
Deuteronomy 7:3-4- You marry a goth and her depression is starting to get to you. You become a goth and leave the church. Ten years later after you divorce all you think is, why did I marry outside the covenant?

I'VE BEEN TAGGED!

2008-03-17T10:59:00.001-07:00

Okay, so I've never been "tagged" before but at the risk of being smacked by Ashley, I'll do this. :)

What were you doing 5 years ago?
Well, I would have been 21 and it was March, so I was literally just getting back from my mission to the Texas Houston East Mission. I got home March 10, 2003, so I'm sure I was trying to re-adjust to life after a mission. It was a great feeling to have it done though and to know I gave it my all! I was also getting ready to go back to BYU which I did the very next month (April).

5 things on my to-do list today:
1. Do laundry.
2. Pay bills.
3. Start packing for the cruise I'm going on in 4 days! (But who's counting right?)
4. Finish up classwork for the course I'm in that's ending today for my Masters degree in Secondary Education.
5. Taking a nap because my spring break has officially started!

7 snacks I enjoy:
1. Homemade chocolate chip cookies! (my Mom's to be precise)
2. Wheat Thins crackers
3. Oreo cookies
4. Yogurt (since I've been dieting, its my new favorite snack)
5. Doritos chips
6. Bananas, apples, grapes, oranges
7. Granola bars (all kinds)

3 bad habits:
1. Not saving money like I should! I love buying DVD's. It's an addiction. :)
2. When I get excited, I tend to talk louder. Gets annoying.
3. Forgetting people's (especially students') names. Not a good thing when you're a teacher!

If I were suddenly a billionaire......
I would buy my dream home complete with a library that would put the Beast's (from Beauty and the Beast) to shame, get a few nice cars, invest in several income properties, and travel the world several times!

5 places I've lived:
1. Santa Rosa, CA
2. Provo, UT
3. San Marcos, CA
4. Houston, TX
5. Lake Charles, LA

5 jobs I've had:
1. Concessions Manager for San Marcos Youth Basketball
2. Dental Assistant (not the kind that actually helps the dentist work on teeth, but the guy who sterilized all of his equipment, cleaned the lab/dentures, and made sure the office looked nice.
3. Ticket Clerk in the Marriott Center at BYU
4. Administrative Assistant at Psychiatric Centers for San Diego
5. Middle school substitute teacher
(You only want 5 right? I've had several others) :)

5 things people might not know about me:
1. I play the piano. I took lessons for about 6-8 years (I can't remember exactly) and quit when I was about 13. However, through occasional practice, I've retained just about everything I've learned and can still play fairly well.
2. I'm writing a novel. When I say writing, it's mostly in the past tense since I haven't even looked at it in over 3 months! I actually have over 600 pages of material and only have about a chapter and an epilogue left before it's finished so once I finish this darn Masters degree, I might actually get the thing done.
3. I'm a seminary teacher. I can't remember who all of my friends (and even some family members) I've told that I teach freshmen seminary but I have now for 2 years. I really love it but unfortunately this will probably be my last year since I'm going to be a full time high school history teacher next year and just won't have the time to do both. :( It's been really fun though!
4. I have the hardest time falling asleep. For as long as I can remember, I've always had to lay in bed for at least an hour before I can doze off. And that's on a good night. Sometimes it's even longer. On my mission, I started taking sleeping pills to help me fall asleep so I could get enough rest to wake up at 6:30 in the morning (or whenever it was we had to get up). Thankfully, I don't seem to need as much sleep as I used to because I get up at about 5:30 every morning now for seminary and I seem to be fine without the sleeping pills.
5. One of my best friends passed away the summer before my senior year in high school. His name was Chris Brown and he and his entire family (mom, dad, and two little sisters: Trish and Holly) were killed in a car accident just outside of Las Vegas. Not the most pleasant experience for a 17 year old kid to have, but I bet it's something some of you didn't know about me!

I tag Hyrum and Tiffany Andrews! And what the heck, in a feeble attempt to force them to start their own blogs, Meghan Merritt and Derek Porter!

CRUISIN THE WORLD

2008-03-16T23:23:00.000-07:00

To whom it may concern,
Okay, let's get real here. There really aren't all that many concerned about my whereabouts, but I thought I'd share where I'll be from March 21st to the 29th anyway! Yes, I'll be cruising the Mexican Riviera on the Carnival Spirit for 8 fun filled days! I'm so excited. I've gone on this ship before but not to the destinations we're headed to this time. And, my entire family is going for the last time without "in-laws!" (For those who don't know, Tanner's getting married on May 17)

Anyway, I just thought I'd gloat. :) There's no better way to spend spring break in my humble opinion than cruising the ocean! I'll be sure and gain a few pounds for everyone! Bon voyage.

CONCERNING THE ACADEMY AWARDS....

2008-02-23T22:11:00.000-08:00

I saw this on MSN Movies and I thought I would share it with the very few of you who actually view my blog. It's written by Jim Emerson and it is pretty darn funny. I haven't watched the Academy Awards in a few years now for many of the reasons he lists. Hollywood, if you're reading, take note. :)

The main thing to remember when you win your Oscar (and you know you will win your Oscar one day -- admit it, you've even practiced your acceptance speech) is that you are immediately faced with 45 seconds during which you can either display grace under pressure or make a complete ass of yourself.
Contrary to Academy legend, Sally Field did not do the latter when she gave the most parodied and ridiculed acceptance speech in Oscar history in 1985. "I haven't had an orthodox career, and I've wanted more than anything to have your respect," she said. "The first time I didn't feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!"
Now, that last part, which came out a bit squeaky, wasn't as bad as many later made it out to be. It wasn't, after all, "You like me! You really like me!" My theory is that the repetitive phrase was memorized in advance (it sounds a bit canned) and that she simply oversold it in the excitement of the moment. Instead of making it sound more spontaneous, her delivery underscored (genuine though the sentiment might be) that this was, in fact, another performance, which felt kind of embarrassing to watch. And audiences can really resent it if you embarrass them, to the point where they respond defensively with scathing sarcasm and mockery.
Don't let this happen to you. Here's some advice for giving your Oscar speech, when the time comes.

1. Get a Grip Why is it that the only people who really appear to lose control when they accept their statuette are the actors? Why don't the art directors and sound editors sputter and wail as if they'd just been spared from lethal injection? If anything, you'd think the actors would be better able to control their emotions than most people.
And you'd be right. You see, actors dig emotional meltdowns, on screen and off. They do it on purpose. It's almost a form of noblesse oblige -- a generous Acting Gratuity (more than 20 percent), if you will: "I will now treat you to an extraordinary demonstration of how deeply I am moved!" And, at the same time, it's a form of grandiose self-inflation and self-abasement: "I scrape and bow to acknowledge how much you have honored me!"
Of course, Gwyneth Paltrow (Best Actress, "Shakespeare in Love," 1999) just stood there and squeaked like a broken drip-irrigation node, but at least she had the decency to be horrified and humiliated about it later, claiming she'd put her Oscar at the back of a bookcase because it brought back painful memories of her big, pink weep-down.
One of the most divisive Oscar speeches of recent years (some were moved, some were appalled) was the tornado of tears Halle Berry whipped up around herself when she won Best Actress for "Monster's Ball" in 2002. Berry's Interminable Moment-of-Special-Pleading was a gale-force ego storm that threatened to suck up the entire universe.
It was like the Big Bang in reverse: "Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. This moment is so much bigger than me," blubbered Berry, trying desperately to make the moment big enough for her.
"This moment is for Dorothy Dandridge, Lena Horne, Diahann Carroll," she continued, in a name-dropping paroxysm that cried out, instead, for Lloyd Bentsen. "It's for the women that stand beside me, Jada Pinkett, Angela Bassett, Vivica Fox. And it's for every nameless, faceless woman of color that now has a chance because this door tonight has been opened." Yes, because now all nameless, faceless women of color could grow up to be Best Actress Oscar winners, just like their universal idol, Halle Berry!
"Thank you. I'm so honored. I'm so honored," Berry further honored herself. "And I thank the Academy for choosing me to be the vessel for which His blessing might flow." Which brings us to our next piece of advice ...

2. Don't Assume That God Voted for You No incarnation of the Creator of All Things is registered as a member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, and nowhere on the Academy ballots is there a category for Best Vessel Through Whom God's Blessings Might Flow. (There remains some question, however, about whether Jesus Christ personally chooses the Grammy winners.) Winning an Oscar does not make you a special agent of God's will or the divine favorite over your fellow nominees -- or, for that matter, over the lepers in your category who must suffer the enduring shame of not even being nominated. (Didn't Jesus say that the un-nominated would inherit the earth?) Do not demean the concept of the Almighty by implying that either you, or the members of the Academy who voted for you, are somehow helping to implement God's Mysterious Plan so that you all can bring about the End Times. Even if it's true, don't. It's just bad form.

3. Brevity Is Good Do you want to be remembered for making everyone resent that you won? If so, be like Greer Garson (Best Actress, "Mrs. Miniver," 1943), who took the stage at approximately 1 a.m., blabbered on for a record five and a half minutes and whipped up a room full o' hate that made her the butt of long-winded jokes for the rest of her career.
Otherwise, you could let your filmed performance speak for itself by graciously refusing to hog the spotlight. Like Clark Gable (Best Actor, "It Happened One Night," 1935) who said, memorably: "Thank you." Or Joe Pesci (Best Supporting Actor, "GoodFellas," 1991), whose entire speech was: "This is an honor and privilege. Thank you very much."

4. Prepare You're not fooling anyone. We all know you've been hoping, fantasizing, rehearsing. Winners who get up there and say they didn't prepare anything because they didn't expect to win should be yanked offstage and whisked by limo to the nearest Jamboree, where they should be forced to write the Boy and Girl Scout motto 1,000 times on 1,000 separate cue cards until they've memorized it: "Be prepared." (If you're a gay man, the Boy Scouts wouldn't allow you at their Jamboree but, if you're out, you already know that nobody would believe you hadn't prepared an Oscar speech, anyway.)
Picking up the award for Best Director (for "A Beautiful Mind" in 2002), Ron Howard confessed: "I'm not a good enough actor anymore to be able to stand up here and make you believe that I haven't imagined this moment in my mind over the years and played it out over a thousand times." If Opie isn't a good enough actor anymore, then neither are you -- even if you win an Oscar.
For those genuinely "unprepared" Oscar moments, when you really didn't think you were going to win and suddenly you do, see Joe Pesci's ideal speech in the previous item.

5. Don't Overprepare (In Other Words: No Lists) All persons entering the Kodak Theatre should be frisked for 8 1/2-x-11-inch sheets of paper. Nothing larger than a 3-x-5 card should be allowed into the auditorium. If there's anything worse than a "spontaneous, unprepared" acceptance speech, it's a monologue delivered, head down, by someone (say, Jennifer Connelly?) who probably couldn't even read convincingly off a teleprompter. At most, your index card should have three items on it. For example:
1. One-liner joke 2. Suck up to X (director, studio exec, casting agent, soon-to-be-ex-spouse -- choose ONE) 3. Thank Academy
At least when Maureen Stapleton (Best Supporting Actress, "Reds," 1982) proclaimed that she wanted to thank "everybody I ever met in my entire life," she had the decency to refrain from mentioning them by name. Not even Cuba Gooding Jr. cited everyone he loved individually. If you know people who want to get mentioned on TV, tell them that's what your local news is for. Tell them to send in a digital photo of their cat or commit a mass murder and your local FOX channel will probably say their name on the air. And there's always call-in radio. But not at the Academy Awards, please.
Next year nobody will remember that you won an Oscar, anyway. If you want to make sure that nobody remembers it tomorrow, just start reciting a bunch of names most of your listeners don't know. Every time somebody starts thanking their agent and their lawyer and their illegitimate offspring, the water pressure in major cities drops precipitously from all the flushing.

6. Enough With the Flowery Speechifying Too many actors think they can write. And too many of those who think that think "writing" involves grandiose rhetoric. One of the worst speeches ever was Laurence Olivier's 1979 honorary Oscar acceptance, which began:
"In the great wealth, the great firmament of your nation's generosity, this particular choice may perhaps be found by future generations as a trifle eccentric, but the mere fact of it -- the prodigal, pure, human kindness of it -- must be seen as a beautiful star in that firmament which shines upon me at this moment, dazzling me a little, but filling me with warmth and the extraordinary elation, the euphoria that happens to so many of us at the first breath of the majestic glow of a new tomorrow."
That's two firmaments in one sentence, which is at least two firmaments too many. Cut to 18 years later and the insufferably calculated ebullience of Roberto Benigni, who bounded over the seats and seemed to crib from Olivier's English-as-a-Second-Language soliloquy: "I feel like now, really, to dive in this ocean of generosity. ... I would like to be Jupiter in the firmament ... lying down and making love to everybody. This is something I cannot forget from the bottom of my heart."
Even famous Regular Guy Tom Hanks went all firmamenty when he accepted his first Oscar for Best Actor in "Philadelphia" in 1994: "I know that my work in this case is magnified by the fact that the streets of heaven are too crowded with angels." (Precisely how many angels can crowd the streets of heaven to magnify Hanks' work has yet to be determined.) "We know their names. They number a thousand for each one of the red ribbons that we wear here tonight. They finally rest in the warm embrace of the gracious creator of us all, a healing embrace that cools their fevers, that clears their skin and allows their eyes to see the simple, self-evident commonsense truth that is made manifest by the benevolent creator of us all." Beautiful sentiments (I think), but the overwrought language and self-important delivery made many of us cringe, momentarily longing for the tiresome, moronic "Brokeback Mountain" jokes of the future.

7. If You're Going to Make a Joke, Make It a Self-deprecating One-Liner When George Burns won the Supporting Actor award in 1976 for a Neil Simon movie ("The Sunshine Boys"), it was not one of the Academy's proudest moments, but 80-year-old Burns cut to the heart of the matter when he said, "It couldn't have happened ... to an older guy." (Indeed, it hadn't.) Contrast this with, say, James Cameron, the director of "Titanic," who awkwardly and unconvincingly exclaimed: "I'm the king of the world! Woo-hoo!" Not self-deprecating enough, really.
Stubby songwriter Paul Williams (star of Brian De Palma's "Phantom of the Paradise") actually got an Oscar in 1977 for penning some of the worst lyrics ever in "Evergreen," for Barbra Streisand's "A Star Is Born": "Love, soft as an easy chair ..." He almost made up for it by quipping: "I was going to thank all the little people, but then I remembered I am the little people." I'm sure it worked just as well when he used it on "Hollywood Squares."
Yes, these are corny jokes, and they are obviously prepared in advance. But they work to relieve the tension in the audience, caused by everyone's nervousness that you're going to get up there and make us all suffer by forcing us to watch you behave like an imbecile.

Jim Emerson is the former editor of Microsoft's online/CD-ROM movie encyclopedia, Cinemania. He has written a lot over the years, mostly about movies, for many publications and Web sites, and is now the editor of RogerEbert.com, where he also publishes his blog, Scanners (blogs.suntimes.com/scanners).

WORK

2008-02-20T20:24:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I'm just experimenting with this whole blog thing so I hope this works. If it does, then this is the school where I currently teach: Woodland Park Middle School. I never would have thought I'd enjoy teaching middle schoolers but I totally do! They're awesome!

I'm Blogging!

2008-02-20T20:16:00.001-08:00

Wow. So this is what it's like? You always here about the "bloggers" or the "blogosphere" like it's some otherworldly being that exists in the great beyond somewhere, but here I am. I've found it! Actually, I just started noticing so many of my friends out there who are blogging and I thought, what the heck? I'll join em. I don't know exactly what I'm going to use this blog for yet, but I'm sure it will be worth everyone's while eventually. Until then....