Wednesday, December 16, 2009


So I know I never use this thing and for the VERY few of you out there who actually read it every once in a while, I apologize for that fact, but I guess I just need something to do so here's an update on me.

Well.... To be honest, there's really not a whole lot to say.

Still substitute teaching, though I've been picking up more long term sub jobs now, but still can't find a permanent position. Very depressing to be perfectly frank with all you strangers and friends alike out there in cyberspace. I absolutely love teaching! It really is my favorite thing to do and I can totally see myself teaching for many years and multiple generations to come because I love seeing young people learn/understand new concepts and grow and develop as individual human beings. However, nobody can survive as a substitute teacher for very long, and I'm going on my third year. Granted, I was student teaching during part of that time, earning a Masters degree and a teaching credential, and am still enrolled in courses that will earn me a certification that allows me to teach ESL students, but this is a pity post so I'm going to vent/cry anyway. :-)

When is real life going to start for me? When is that perfect position that so many of my colleagues/teacher-friends keep telling me is out there, going to show itself? I don't want to be a totally Negative Ned here, but I guess I'm just getting tired of spinning my wheels and spending more money I don't have on degrees and certifications and licenses and credentials when I'm still unable to do the one thing I truly love: TEACH!

I don't know. I guess I'll keep telling myself (and listening to others who do the same) that there is something for me out there, but right now, that something just seems so.... unreal. Tomorrow I'm going to put on my happy face and remind myself that the holidays are here and I'm going to be pleasant and fun for my family and friends, but for today, I think I'm going to spend the rest of the evening in my bed.


Lissy said...

I totally sympathize! It's hard to keep trying for something and have it seems like it is just never going to happen regardless of all your hard work and prayers too. However, since you love it, you should definitely keep going for it. Something great is bound to come out of all your good work even if it isn't just what you expect. Sorry if that sounds like ever positive advice from a fortune cookie. Just wanted you to know you aren't the only one going through that kind of thing and feeling like just staying in bed some days. Thank goodness for mornings - they always make me feel better.

Jessica said...

I understand how you feel too. I finished my music teaching degree 3 years ago and have been trying to get a music teaching position ever since. But Flagstaff is a small town. So subbing it is. Which is not my favorite because I rarely get to teach what I LOVE! Maybe look outside of San Diego. CA is a big state and being single you can just pick up and go if you want to. Chin up my friend. You'll find what you're looking for!